Jenn & James circa 1999

Or, what happens when gay neighbors commiserate about their pathetic straight friends.

JENN: Many years ago, let’s say it was 1999, Louis and Christopher had the hair-brained notion that James & I would make a good pair. Turns out they were right, but you never would have expected it after the first “date.” First of all the four of us met up at Akbar. Now, if any of you are locals you know this to be quite the hopping place for the gay crowd. See the movie “Beginners” for a little taste. But, no big deal, my friends & I went there all the time. James…bless, he arrived wearing a tattered chambray shirt with a “Relax It’s Just Sex” t-shirt underneath. Granted the shirt was designed by James for a friend’s truly excellent film, but did I know that? No. Despite the questionable choice of attire, drinks went well and conversation was flowing so we moved onto dinner at Tommy Tang’s—normally a great choice, but it was drag night and for some reason the “Madonna” thought it would be great to grind his/her crotch in James’s face while his/her leather-clad boy toy had a party in my lap. Awesome. We survived dinner and on the walk back to the cars I overheard James recount the recent burglary of his dad’s flat, “…made off with his entire Streisand collection…” Whaaa? My ears did a double-take sensing some familiar ground. “Streisand?” I asked. “My Dad has quite a few albums, but he’s gay.” DING! Coincidence #1, and yes it seemed to be a very gay-themed night. So what happened? NOTHING! James didn’t even ask for my number. Turns out he was dating someone else so let’s pretend he was being honorable.

Since date #1 didn’t exactly take, but we clearly liked each other, Louis and Christopher decided to force the issue and set up date #2. Our fairy drag queens converged and James actually asked for my number. Our first real date was a chaparoneless thrift store excursion in the rain with breakfast at the Astro. The rest is a whole lotta history.

JAMES: Yeah, probably should have given more thought to my choice of t-shirt. Anyway, after that the clock hands whiz around really fast. Pages drop from the calendar. Leaves fall from the tree, then grow back again. The point is, time passes. Lots of time. Houses, volkswagens and pets have come and gone. And by the time we get to the top of the mayan pyramid in the Yucatan Peninsula, she probably just assumes it’s never going to happen. But that’s when I reach for the little red box and take a deep breath.

Click to biggify.